Tools of the Trade

I found this relic pair of pliers while raking through a knee-high pile of sea grape leaves.

 

 Such an accumulation of leaves indicates quite an extensive passage of time…centuries, at least. Perhaps this tool was once used during the Iron Age as a weapon of mass destruction. Or it may have been a sophisticated tool used in ancient dental rituals.pullingteeth

The unique shape suggests exquisite workmanship, such as was displayed by the post-Rigvedic Vedic civilization.  And the metal itself could be ferrous or cast or even meteoritic. The possibilities are endless.

 Considering the historical value of these pliers, I’m certain the curators of the Smithsonian would jump at the chance to add them to their collection of antiquated gadgetry! Just think of it…Mowgirl Lawn Care would be famous, known around the world as the only lawn care company to ever discover such a rare and unusual artifact! Who would ever think such a dirty, sweaty, and lowly blue-collar job could bring one such acclaim and glory?!

 Capture

And naturally, everyone would want to start a lawn business in hopes of discovering the next priceless relic. Soon Florida would be overrun by fledgling lawn care companies. And that’s not so good. My competition would be intensely stiff. I’m sure I’d be up against low ballers, and I’d lose accounts and job opportunities. It wouldn’t be long before I went bankrupt. My kids would starve to death and I’d be alone and penniless. My lawn trailer and my truck would be auctioned off, along with my mowers and all my equipment.

imagesWhat took me 20 years to establish would be lost in a mere month all because of these crappy pliers that were probably made by Craftsman. Hey, wait a tic…Craftsman has a lifetime warranty on all their tools. Sweet! I’ll head to Sears and get me a brand new Craftsman artifact! Plus I’ll be able to keep my job, run my business, feed my kids, and remain blissfully insignificant to the world.

 

Posted in Finders Keepers | Leave a comment

A super collection of balls

P1000938It seems that super balls abound in Florida. I find them everywhere–in the grass, in the middle of shrubbery, in parking lots, in flower beds, driveways, swimming pools, storm drains, street gutters, bird baths, trash barrels, and even in the hands of little children. Some of the super balls have large chunks missing. Others are covered with mold. Many are on the verge of disintegrating, actually flaking off as I hold them. My daughter has been adding each colorful bouncing gem I find to a massive pretzel container for about six years. I think we have about a hundred of the things by now. It’s a great conversation piece. So if you need a super ball for a last minute occasion, or if your child is missing a super ball, we probably have it…and you can’t have it back.

Posted in Finders Keepers | Leave a comment

A Ten Spot

musings logo

A lot of weird things happen to us lawn monkeys. Actually, I can only speak for myself. A lot of weird things happen to ME as I go about my work week. For instance, take the time I was tooling around on my 48″ Scag, meticulously mowing moderately mild mounds of grass in one of my client’s yards. Squeezing my machine between an overgrown hibiscus hedge and the largest Indian Hawthorne tree I’ve ever seen, I was nearly poked in the eye by a ten dollar bill. No kidding.

ten dollar bill

The bill was impaled by an errant hibiscus branch, and it dangled in my face at about eye-level. I stared at it for a moment, fully expecting it to suddenly get yanked away by some prankster who had some fishing line masterfully connected to the bill. But nothing like that happened. The ten spot fluttered slightly in the breeze, and you can bet I snatched it up quick as lightening, and stuffed it down my shirt front (the Mowgirl doesn’t have pockets). I innocently continued mowing, while glancing over my shoulder now and then, watching for some maniac who lost ten bucks coming at me with a machete. Who said money doesn’t grow on trees?

Posted in Finders Keepers | Leave a comment

Time for an Irrigation Check

Check your irrigation system at the Spring time of year, before the real heat moves in. Make sure all heads are working properly, and that water coverage is adequate. Only water what needs to be watered! Last I checked, the street and the sidewalk do just fine without being irrigated.

Posted in Lawn Care, Landscaping Tips, Spring | Leave a comment

Time to Prune

Spring is a good time to prune your plants. Wait until they stop flowering, then prune moderately. For trees, never prune more than 1/3 the total height. For instance, if your crepe myrtle tree is 12’ tall, remove no more than 4’ for a major pruning.

Posted in Lawn Care, Landscaping Tips, Spring | Leave a comment

Time to Feed

With the advent of spring your plants, trees and lawn are ready to eat. Lent is over! Let the food flow! Choose slow release fertilizers for your entire landscape. These types of fertilizers feed your plants small amounts over a longer period of time. They’re better for the plants, and better for the environment.

Posted in Lawn Care, Landscaping Tips, Spring | Leave a comment

We’re Getting Fat!

After a prolonged and weird winter, we’ve finally entered the true spring season. And with spring comes heat, humidity, and swim suits.

Looking pretty fancy...

Looking pretty fancy…

 

And with swim suits comes the startling realization that our bodies have not only turned a nauseating whitish color, but they have also developed odd jiggly protuberances that were not there last summer (or so we’d like to believe). And with those unsightly protuberances, a.k.a. fat, comes….the D word! DIET!!! Shrinkage, reduction, minimization.  

It seems everyone is trying to get smaller. But not Mowgirl Lawn Care!

Feast

Feast

We’re trying to fatten up, grow bigger, enlarge and expand. With a new 16’ trailer, new equipment, and additional man power we’re ready to take you on! So stick to your diet, but splurge on your lawn service and hire Mowgirl Lawn Care! Gorge yourself on our expertise. Feast your eyes on the beautiful yards we create. And as always, our estimates are free, so indulge yourself.

Posted in Thinly-Veiled Marketing | Leave a comment

Spring has Sprung?

2013 has been a most unpredictable year for climatologists, thus far. In January we were averaging temperatures in the mid-80’s before the month was halfway through! By the time February first rolled around the temperature had dropped fifteen degrees to a chilly 65. By mid February we were just shy of 90 degrees, while March first boasted a chilly 63! Mother Nature is so confused she’s going to need therapy for the next decade.

Mother Nature, how does this make you feel?

Mother Nature, how does this make you feel?

I’ve seen the oak trees awaken in the middle of January, only to return to dormancy in early February, then awaken again later that month only to be slapped with a near-freeze in early March. I’ve watched the grass in my front yard turn brown, sprout green, turn brown again, and finally dare to poke out a few tentative green blades again last week. Now it’s 42 and gusty outside…

nature3 043How this will affect the advent of spring is anyone’s guess. However, be prepared to fertilize your shrubs with a slow release 10-10-10. Use a high acid fertilizer for those acid-loving plants such as hibiscus and ixora. Get some good slow release palm fertilizer and feed those poor things. And by the end of March lay down an application of fertilizer for your beat-up lawn. My guess is that by April we’ll be back to normal with average temps in the mid to high 80’s, and that ole wet blanket called humidity on the rise. Enjoy the cold while you can!hr2820121-3

Posted in Lawn Care, Landscaping Tips, Spring | Leave a comment